Update 2024 if anyone freakin cares
^^^(alternate timeline, real one below)
Hey everyone. I was supposed to graduate this year, but my fam and life shafted me so hard I experienced such intense burnout when I completed my second year coursework at the tail end of the summer term, it left me with no choice but to drop out for a year. Back to being a NEET for the second time ever I guess.
Because of personal and ethical reasons, I desire to follow up on my own promise and deactivate this account once and for all, maybe in the next 3-6 months.
But before I go through on this, if anyone's interested in my limited socials (discord, steam, or bluesky) please DM me. BUT it depends on who you are if I can dish out these details or not.
Meanwhile I'll be busy doodling, researching for my dissertation, trying not to give in to nihilism, and Barneyposting everywhere else.
cya
update march 2021
it's been so long since i've actually drawn something for real... last thing i remember drawing was this woman who was generated by a sophisticated GAN network and she ended up looking like hillary clinton and i cringed... most things i make now are just memey graphic design exercises on photoshop and abstract gouache paintings of funky shapes and garbage drawing promps on broken picturephone with my friends... i think it's all a matter of whether i have enough inspiration and motivation that drives me to create something rather than doing it to seek out the pleasure of creating something... life sure likes to throw random ass curveballs at me huh. anyways i am once again not posting any art on this account and still putting off properly archiving all my old art so i can finally delete this account like i promised myself to six? months ago lol bye
Deleting
This DA page no longer serves any purpose in my life and career, and probably never will again. I've made up my mind in deleting this account in the next couple of months, as I'm currently in the process of reorganising my digital footprint in order to create a better representation of the type of person I am today. I find this account to be representative of a more juvenile, embarrassing, and unprofessional period of my life that I'd rather wipe off of the face of the internet than continue to keep up for archival purposes, It's not that big of a loss to my career since I'm producing vastly different content than whatever I would've made 1-2 years ago. So, go and enjoy what this account has to offer while you can, for its days are finally numbered.
PS. I can't figure out the new DA UI and how shit works now, and can't be bothered to learn how since I've only been using this account to keep up with artists I follow, and most of them already post their stuff in other places I follow them on as well. Like I said earlier, the death of this account is not that big of a loss to me.
Announcement
1: Even though I do enjoy to draw, ever since I've started studying graphic design full time, I have been finding it hard to get enjoyment out of illustration because whenever I do somehow find the initiative and motivation to start a drawing, I always feel like it has to be better than the last drawing I did, and it gets me so stressed it's unreal; so much so that it has permanently affected my workflow. Every time I do go out of my way to draw something, no matter how small, simplistic, or benign it is, I just disregard any positive emotions I might have had during this activity and rage quit every time something goes wrong, and that ends up damaging my self-esteem and making me feel like I've barely improved as an illustrator, therefore not giving me any incentive or purpose to move on forward and make any improvements to my craft I've been constantly insisting I would be doing.
2: I would like to fully dedicate my creative energy to graphic design, especially the disciplines I want to specialise in: editorial design and typography/type design, since those are the ones I have the most interest, knowledge, and can demonstrate my skill in. I originally chose graphic design as a career path because I wanted to do a job where I could harness my creativity and put it to good use and where it was emotionally divorced from my illustration/cartooning hobby as much as possible, as I only enjoy drawing stuff for myself and I didn't see it as a viable or lucrative career path [as if graphic designers don't struggle as much as illustrators in terms of finding employment opportunities lol, at least we both have the option to go freelance if we needed to] But who would've guessed that 3/4ths of the course in I would've ended up absolutely LOATHING illustration, and preferring graphic design over any other fine or applied art discipline as my go-to choice as a form of creative expression. At least this made me a better designer as I suddenly put as much love and care I put into my work as I did on any full-colour, full-detail drawing I made during my dA heyday, allowing me to put out work I am actually proud of, instead of just portfolio filler or stuff in exchange for pay. As of right now, I have two font families in development (though it's been very slow as of late), and a zine-like editorial piece in the works that I might complete and self-publish maybe sometime later in the year or maybe next year, depending on a ton of factors, mostly finding time to work on it, so I would like to put all my creative energy into these projects that not only will give showcase my dedication and competence in my field, but will finally allow me to do work that I will actually enjoy doing, instead of something that I feel like I am obligated to do because I dedicated so much of my time and energy to it in the past.
3. I feel like my illustration/cartooning hobby and my inflexibility has seriously sabotaged my ability to excel in drawing skills such as perspective, posing, anatomy, etc. I know I can succeed in these skills because I am able to demonstrate artistic talent, considering I come from a fine art (but also anatomically incorrect anime doodles in the middle of class) background, but since I've been drawing stylised, cartoony drawings of mostly 3/4 portraits of my OCs for years, I haven't had any chance to work on valuable skills such as anatomy and perspective, which would've benefited me massively as an artist and illustrator and regret not doing whilst I've had the chance. So, during this illustration hiatus, I would like to work on these skills at my own pace, and go back to styilised illustration once I am fully satisfied with my aptitude in these aforementioned skills, because that's the way it's supposed to be: illustration students typically need to study skills such as anatomy, perspective, etc, before they are allowed to progress into developing their own style and letting it form a basis for their illustrative art, which is something that I have refused to do every time I had the chance to do so due to my complacency, stupidity, and stubbornness as an illustrator.
Considering my current disdain for illustration, and my need to release my life's work before dementia or death (the webcomic I've been developing for like 90 million years), I will be using graphic design rather than conventional comic-style illustration to tell a story, which sounds challenging but interesting enough of a task for me to undertake. I know that narrative imagery is a massive component of graphic design of you work in book cover design, CD/DVD sleeve design, movie/theatre production promo material design, etc, but I haven't seen graphic design being used to tell a story at the extent that illustration would be used in the same situation that much, unless I've been looking in all the wrong places all this time. Either way, I suppose I've got something quite interesting in the line-up, no matter what.